Tuesday, June 19, 2007

adulterants and my body and PAIN!!I'm allergic!I'm natural.

This 1st part of this entrance is dedicated to all the medical staff that provided me care in a professional manner and w/ the respect all patients deserve.I will miss all of you .I will be discharged 6/21.these pics are a few of the people that I was able to take a photograph of,..sorry I couldn't get everyone,but you all will be remembered in my prayers and dreams.This is an acknowledgement of their service.The second article ,of course is about the problems that I encountered w/one specific sadistic ,greedy,doctor who has a God complex and through his arrogance and actions caused me a little (actually alot)of distress.I don't mind naming him...I present to you the doctor...Gary Anderson...if you read this Doc ,you do not listen to your patients.You could use a little humility in your life and you will get it as a result of you playing those games .It is not my will, I am just an instrument of Fate and it is your Fate that will befall you without me doing anything.I feel sorry for you ,as your disposition limits you in scope.The things you thought you did in secret and on the sly were actually not hidden and to those you fooled because of your prejudices(?)will come to light soon.Your colleagues will view you differently and your power will diminish.Maybe this will help with the disease of your God complex. I tried,but you did not listen.Too bad ,you have great potential.
(click on photos to enlarge)

My..look at this beauty!Her name is Krista,and she gives me my breathing treatments...her occupation is "respiratory therapist"!One of the things that made my stay tolerable and enjoyable was the beautiful people(inside and out) that I encountered here at Baptist.Most were really professional and exuded a very healthy attitude ....in my opinion a necessity for the patients well being,promoting a faster recovery ...or for those with a terminal illness,a sense of well being and peace!Again ,I can't say thank you enough,for you are vital part of a classical conditioned positive reinforcement regiment.I am glad I chose Baptist for my treatment!

here is the "pretty"wonderful Laura, a nurse (AUA) who also works on 6
EAST,she was great ...always greeting me with a smile and getting the things that I requested in a reasonable time(fast).

Here is what I looked like 3 weeks ago,before I was admitted

to Baptist Hospital.I have lost alot of weight and my muscle tone is lacking now.Almost time to get back to work ...in many areas!

This picture here is of nurses Tiffany and Joe.They were working as a pair at the time of my stay.Good Team!

Here is Linda,a PAL(patient assistant liaison) She was very kind and inquisitive of my condition.She always made sure that I had fresh iced water,clean linen,towels and personal hygiene items.My meals were also delivered w/ a hot moist towel,just like a fine Japanese restaurant.

Pictured here is a Pal named Kim,who also provided the same great treatment as Linda...but going a little further by always making sure I had a newspaper to read in the morning

without me even have to ask after the first day.She was even so kind as to make sure in the evenings that I had a box lunch for a snack w/plenty of V8 juice to drink.Above and beyond the call of duty!All these people are invaluable assets to the Hospital and I hope one day they are paid according to their conduct and interactions w/their patients.I know that they are not paid what they are worth by no means.

Here is another Kim(nurse,AUA)who is engaged and will be getting married in Sept.of this year.Good luck Kim w/ all the details,and don't sweat it too much

Here is Sarah(nurse) edited and cropped,using a soft glow effect w/ a classic border that I used on Kodak.com at their easy share program.pretty neat ..eeeh!You can order photos online at a reasonable price starting at .15 cents each.they will mail them to you at a reasonable price also.this is one way that I also make money.I went to the Oklahoma School of Photography in 1995...so I guess that makes me a photographer also!You didn't know i had so many talents ..eeeh!

I think it came out pretty nice ! I don't think she liked it ,but she is of the opinion that she does not photograph well.She is a very pretty woman and this photo proves it!

Here is the beautiful"Nurse Sarah"
(original pic)

Here I am getting Fat( it is just gas ...really ..smell!)LOL

Yesterday Dr. Anderson came in to check on my progress and he confirmed what I initially thought of him...a SADIST(lol)!(NOW DON'T GET ME WRONG ,I BELIEVE HIM TO BE A COMPETENT ORTHOPEDIC SURGEON,BUT IMPRESSING HIS MORALS AND VALUES ON ME AS A RESULT OF HIS ASSUMPTION THAT I'M A SUBSTANCE ABUSER BECAUSE OF MY APPEARANCE..LONG HAIR PROBABLY,IS NOT PROFESSIONAL OR BENEFICIAL TO ME THE PATIENT...read the previous article in "PICS OF MY FOOT" )The day after surgery he came to see me ,and I had not had my scheduled meds yet and the wound was really hurting.He wanted to take the bandages off and take a look.Now remember he packed the wound w/ gauze( the size of a half dollar and deep from the top of my foot to the bottom(sole)and believe me ...there was a lot of gauze soaked w/ betadine and encrusted w/ puss and blood.It was not going to come out easy.I told him I was hurting and he said it wouldn't hurt much and he would pull it all out fast.(he's the doc..must know what he was talking about!?eeh).It son of a bitch hurt like hellllllll!!!!If that wasn't enough he had to test my pain threshold by sticking his fingers here and there asking"does that hurt?"Yeah,M****f**** that hurts.Then he had to repack the wound and he knew I was in Paaaain!!Did he administer the morphine on order before he proceeded ...NOOOOO!The pain was so severe that I immediately was bathed profusely in SWEAT...my eyes rolled into the back of my head, I almost had a seizure,and was I semiconscious for nearly 2 1/2 hrs.afterwards and while continuing to sweat profusely during this time .Thank God there was a nurse present who saw what was happening to me and she took pity on me and did what a good caregiver does ..she gave me the morphine as soon as the DOC left!It was just a little to late ,but I believe that it actually stopped me from going further under and progressing the onset of the seizure.....(to be continued tomorrow)time for dinner!!

Well I 'm back and I continue my tirade(hehehee).

Now like I said earlier,he came to see me Sunday the 17Th and he thought that I was really progressing FAST! This I attribute to his expertise in the field of surgery.He was very competent in making sure that through the second surgery , he had got all the necrotic flesh.But...and this is a big but(BUTT ..lol)he asked me how my pain was and had me touch my wounds through the bandages and evaluate my pain. I told him that I was not feeling any pain at the time due to the wonderful drugs I had been prescribed.(not so much the opiates..they are short acting and they just get me "high"which I do not prefer to be all the time ..inebriation is good from time to time ,but I don't like my awareness being diminished perpetually)The ultram is a great pain reliever w/ minimal disorientation.It does the job! I told him I was into about an hour of the action of the drugs and that is why I believed the pain was tolerable.I know that around the third hour I will start hurting and by the fourth I am,in my opinion,in considerable pain.If the pain is unnecessary and I have resources ,why not use them.I'm not into any type of pain,whether it be emotional,physical or spiritual!Well,not of my own volition anyway... but shit does happen and I deal w/it as best as I know how!

So ,he tells me that I'm doing fine and he does not see any reason to continue with the pain medication that I was currently on and that he was going to immediately discontinue all of them and only provide Tylenol 3 which is an analgesic(pain reliever) http://www.medicinenet.com/codeine/article.htm with codeine and acetaminophen, which when I was admitted,I had informed intake that I was highly allergic to it. I know it was on record in my chart and on my patient ID wrist band.I was floored.I didn't know what to say and I gave him a blank stare.Now people ,this wound is still open and the ligaments ,tendons and muscle are still viewable.The skin has not grown over and the nerves are regenerating ,which when exposed to air ,cause considerable pain.Now I have a high tolerance to pain ..but this was surgery! I've been in the past stabbed all over my body 17 times in one sitting(including a partial pneumothorax( http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/pneumothorax/DS00943 ) ,so I know a little about Pain and the the extent it can go to and what I can tolerate... and this wound is comparable at times to that pain.And when the drugs start wearing off it hurts (it's not psychosomatic)!.So I did not say anything to the Doc,as it would have been of no use ,as he had insinuated before several times that he was of the opinion that it was unnecessary to have these medications longer that 3-4 days after surgery.

It was about me and I took it personal.Of course I was a little(lol) bothered by this but I kept it inside and said nothing .Now during the course of my stay ,I had encountered 2 nurses who provided me care that exhibited the same attitude , and who had withheld my medication or shorted me (getting one 7.5 loritab rather then the prescribed two..for example.And I also waited 2 1/2 hours after my scheduled time to be given my meds despite repeated calls to the nurses station and assurances that the nurse knew about it and was on her way) the pills.Having worked on a pre/post op ward at William Beaumont Army Medical Center,El Paso,Texas(urology,opthamology,neurology...etc) and being familiar w/ substance abuse amongst Medical staff,I had a very strong opinion of why I was not receiving the prescribed scheduled medication, but I can't and won't try to prove it.I was/am only concerned with my condition and I am not to impress my values and morals on others unless it, at the time, effects me .Please don't dictate to me what you think my pain threshold is or should be .I am 41 years old and justified in the condition I'm in and the wound that I suffer.Big boys should be able to make informed decisions , take part and have a say in their pain management and healing process!

Nonetheless , I waited to talk to my primary care physician about these incidences and she agreed that that I was still in need of pain medication.I told her that I was more than willing to have the opiates D/C'd,but please leave me the ultram.To my relief,she said that she was not discontinuing any of the meds or making any changes in the orders.

But I might have offended her by being critical of the Doctor and the nurses,and to an extent ,the wound care team. That was not my intent and I was not trying to be a cry baby.I was concerned of a reoccurring infection and wanted to prevent it by taking an active part in my treatment.But, come to think about it ,if I encountered these situations ,others have probably also been subjected to these attitudes and actions and maybe they were not as vocal or aware of the extent of these actions these people take and the impact that they have on their treatment and recovery.Please do not be offended, just be aware that these things do happen and the right course must me taken to insure the safety and well being of the patient. I ,for one ,am not angry anymore,as I took the appropriate actions :And that is what is called "self empowerment".That is my goal in all life situations..to enable people to empower themselves, to provide a life for themselves, that is worth living and that is at a level that is humane.It is personally satisfying to do for oneself and to see others do the same.That is why I embedded my self at the City Rescue Mission,so that these people would entrust in me their confidence and allow me through my actions and willingness to live with and through their struggles, to enable their voice...to empower them to gain the level of life that is reasonable to them.If they do not know that there is a better quality of life available to them,then I try to show them.And that it is attainable.

Life's pain is one thing that we all have experienced and hold as a common denominator,but usually this pain is unnecessary and a result of apathy on the part of the observer and the observed(but don't forget about the truly evil person who professes his love for the dark and who's goal and ambition is to inflict pain and suffering..example:satanist and those born inherently evil).We all were granted the right to play a role in this great drama of life and we do have the choice to decide which role we want to play.Act yourselves into the role that you have always desired and dreamt about ..and you save your brother and sister in the process...this is the miracle of life;the ability to create or destroy.Free will is the gift from the DIVINE and not to exercise it is unacceptable ...and it goes against human nature(but some would deny you this act,"conform to me" is their motto).To deny our humanity ...that is the reason we are subjected to pain ,to cause us to willingly take our life ,of our own volition, through abuse and negligence of ourselves,either through a fast or slow suicide.The distortion of the beauty that is in front and within us is one of the results .And this pain blinds us to this beauty,causing us to retreat within ourselves and be alone in our discomfort in this realm and our life,causing us to turn our backs on each other.It does not have to be this way ..it is unnatural.It goes against our nature.Now it 's up to you ..now that you are aware.Peace!Go and LIVE!

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